Christmas Horror Movies: Ho Ho... NOOOOO!
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Christmas Horror Movies are not the first thing to come to mind for the masses, but for Horror Freaks every season is the right season for gore!
Written by The
Horror Czar, Don Sumner
December 11, 2010
Here are some of the obvious choices for holiday horror, along with some a bit off the beatenpath... with a few thrown in that are loosely related to the Christmas holiday, if you use your imagination.
Silent Night, Deadly Night (1984)
Review
Silent Night, Deadly Night is one of the Christmas horror movies I remember more than any of the sacrilegious Santa monstrocities because the protests by the PTA and the subsequent removal of the film from many theaters happened just as my early days of horror freakdom were beginning to evolve in high school. It's been said that this one is a sub-par horror film that wouldn't be of note if it weren't for the killer being in a Santa Suit, but I don't agree... cheesy, yes... but after watching Silent Night, Deadly Night you will never look at antlers on the wall the same again. Naughty! There are sequels too, and they suck just as bad. I love them all.
Jack Frost (1997)
Jack Frost is the story of a vicious serial killer who becomes genetically mutated on his way to his execution and comes back as a snowman, determined to make those who put an end to his life of crime pay dearly. This film is extremely campy and goofy, but kind of fun in a silly kind of way... and it is perfect for the jolliest time of the year. Don't worry about the fact that it makes no sense, and that Jack even wears the traditional red snowman scarf - this one is very entertaining and I LOVE the stupid way that it ends. "He's Chillin' and Killin'" indeed.
Black Christmas (1974)
Review
Black Christmas is considered by many to be THE original slasher movie, at least in the sense that we know the slasher subgenre today with a single killer stalking and picking off lovely co-eds one by one. Beyond the historic value, this one has it all for the holiday season with obscene phone calls, sorority girls, drunken Margot Kidder and jokes about fellatio. The setting is Christmas time during the winter break, further adding to the warm fuzzies. This one is a must among the Christmas horror movies... and the original is much better than the recent remake, albeit a bit slower moving.
Santa Claws (1996)
Santa Claws has a B-horror scream queen being stalked by a deranged fan who leaves murder and mayhem in his wake. This film is not good, not good at all.... except: The scream queen is played by none other than BHM favorite Debbie Rochon. Debbie is, of course, fabulous in the film and personally adds enough pizzazz to make it worth a watch. If, by some unexplicable twist of fate, you are NOT a Debbie Rochon fan then don't bother with Santa Claws as there isn't much else of note happening here.
Santa's Slay (2005)
Santa's Slay is among the better low budget Christmas horror movies with pretty good gore and fair production value. The biggest strength, though, is the interesting twist on the concept of Santa Clause. In the other films that include a rendering of Jolly Ole' St. Nick it is some psycho killer dressed in a Santa Suit doing the dastardly deeds. In Santa's Slay it is actually Santa himself, who it seems flew around giving toys to good girls and boys only after losing a bet with an Angel. The bet was only for 1,000 years, though... and the time is up. This demon has some making up to do.
To All a Good Night (1980)
To All a Good Night is one of the Christmas horror movies that doesn't get nearly the respect it deserves. Sure, this film is goofy and cheap, but it is so in classic 80s slasher style, right in line with offerings from the golden era of the slasher subgenre. The facts that it happens in an all-girl school and the killer dresses up in a Santa Suit are just icing on the cake. Heck, there's even a girl killed in an initiation stunt years earlier to keep things interesting. The kills are good and things move along at a clip all too familiar to 80s horror fanatics. Make sure this one is under the tree.
The Christmas Season Massacre (2001)
Once there was a boy named Tommy who was taunted and picked on relentlessly by his classmates. Was it because he wore an eyepatch like a pirate? In any case, they stole his shoe and coined him "Tommy One Shoe". The day that Tommy snapped went down in infamy, and it appears that Tommy is back to terrorize the survivors in his own bloody style. This one doesn't have much to do with Christmas - no santa suit for sure - but it has "Christmas" in the name so it will end up on the "maybe list" of Christmas horror movies for some... over-the-top gore is about all you get here, so only grab this one if the other choices are unavailable.
Satan Claus (1996)
First off, the lighting in Satan Claus is absolutely terrible, made worse by the fact that every single scene takes place at night. Know this on the front end and be prepared. The concept is interesting - a deranged killer in a Santa Suite goes on a killing rampage in New York City with the goal of adorning his Christmas tree with body parts as ornaments. What better to get you in the holiday spirit? There is also a bit of voodoo happening here, so those concerned with religious diversity in their Christmas horror movies should be very pleased.
Dead End (2003)
Review
Dead End actually has some strong cinematic value and has won several festival awards for the film as well as the writers, director and performers. In "Twilight Zone style" this one takes place during the drive to the In-Laws for Christmas - scary in it's own right. When the crew takes a short cut all hell breaks loose, literally. This is a good scary film to watch any time of year, and the joyful holiday season is a perfect excuse.
Christmas Evil (1980)
Review
I will start by revealing that Christmas Evil is regarded by many as one of the best Christmas horror movies ever. John Waters says that this is "The BEST seasonal film of all time...True cinematic masterpiece." Leonard Maltin says (why do we care what he says?) it is a "Gripping, well-made little thriller... with Maggart excellent as the psychopathic Kris Kringle. A sleeper, with cult status possibilities..."
Bah, Humbug! It stinks.
There is, however, a killer in a Santa Suit. We get to watch him sew it in fact. Hooray.
Loosely Related to Christmas, but Still Fun:
Silent Night, Bloody Night
Review
Many people around the world find Christmas time a joyous and wonderful celebration, for both for religious reasons and as an excuse for family to come together. Others find Christmas to be a time of depression and memories of unhappy events or situations. For yet others Christmas represents a time to remember a horrible massacre that devastated a town and brought mayhem and death to those around them. Silent Night Bloody Night is an example of Christmas horror movies about the latter. Other than the time of year being associated with a great family tragedy, this film is not particularly Christmas related. Good film though.
Gremlins (1984)
The cute little critters come with just three simple rules... and those rules are broken, unleashing a bunch of crazed furry beasts on an unsuspecting town. Joe Dante directs this genre favorite and it is a lot of fun, if not directly Christmas related. It does happen during Christmas time though. Close enough.
Chopping Mall (1986)
Review
When some unsuspecting teens get trapped after hours in a high-tech shopping mall they are terrorized by the robotic security detail run amok. Chopping Mall is a pretty good flick in spite of the decidedly un-scary appearance of the goofy robots responsible for the bloody massacre. There is even a scene where a girl's head blows up - pretty cool. The only real connection to Christmas is the shopping part - you shop for Christmas presents, this is a shopping mall. I don't even remember if the teens are actually shopping for Christmas presents in this film... I'll have to check.
Child's Play (1988)
Review
Everyone knows that Chucky the doll is possessed by the evil spirit of a serial killer into voodoo, and as the sequels progress the storyline gets goofier and goofier as Chucky takes a bride and even has a child. The original silliness of Chucky began, though, as the yearnings of a youngster for the hottest Christmas present on the market. So, the holiday is addressed, albeit loosely.
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