Dear Zombie Master: Life Span of Zombies

by Lea-Renee
(New Zealand)

Dear Zombie Master,

This question has bothered me for quite some time.

In some forms of fiction, Zombie apocalypses last a ridiculous amount of time. I say this because due to the lack of preserving products such as ethanol it should only take 20-50 days for the flesh (brains included) to be completely decomposed and so the undead become properly dead. Should we only really wait out of danger zones for approximately a year since after that time danger from zombies should be null?

Thanks,
Lea-Renee

Lea-Renee,

Have you ever noticed that when a zombie is shot in the head, decapitated or otherwise put out of its misery, that blood is present? This can only mean that there is "flow". If not, then the blood would coagulate and the zombie would not be able to do much damage at all.

As long as there is blood flow then "livor mortis" is stopped in its tracks. This means that "rigor mortis" is unable to set in and the "decomposition" process is stopped. However, when a zombie is put down, they will decompose quicker than normal because their body temperature is already optimal for it.

I am not saying that you cannot take the opportunity to wait it out, but I am saying that while you are I will be helping to cull out the herd.

Good hunting and aim high,

The Zombie Master