Dear Zombie Master: What Defines a Zombie?

by Tom
(Nashville, Tennessee, USA)

Dear Zombie Master,

I'm too concerned with details, especially when it comes to a genre where suspension of disbelief is required even before the opening credits. Now that everyone knows that I'm aware of this fact: I have a huge problem with the mechanics of zombies.

I'm entertained by the modern zombie movies that use disease as an explanation for zombies, but the 'zombie' would have to technically still be alive for this to work; to me a zombie is undead. I like the idea of zombies being the re-animated bodies of corpses that retain traces of their former personalities even though they are dead (truly dead, not simply infected). Many claim that a true zombie is also not inhabited by some otherworldly force, but just a walking corpse.

So, if a 'true' zombie is not a person infected with some gruesome disease (but still technically alive), or a possessed corpse (as in Evil Dead), then how can it function?

The laws of the universe dictate that without blood pumping oxygen (and hydraulic pressure) to the muscles, then the machine (body) will not function. This also requires the lungs and heart to be fully functional; the slower the heart pumps, the less oxygen the lungs produce, and the less blood flowing, the slower the organism will move and it becomes much weaker. Not much of a threat, or a scare.

To me, the only way a walking corpse could exist is to be possessed, by a demon or by some other supernatural force, where the will of the mind controlling the body makes possible the fact that the machine body is irreparable, and completely non functional according to natural physical laws.

Even though I love zombie movies, it is sometimes difficult to suspend my disbelief to the point that I can really get into the movie. This is why I prefer zombie stories where no definite explanation is offered, or the ones where the bodies are possessed.

Maybe you can inform me of some possibilities that I haven't considered so that I can better enjoy all zombie stories (at least the ones that are done well).

Tom

Tom,

I must say that your inability to suspend belief kind of knocks a lot of horror sub-genres out of reach. Vampires are undead, mummies are undead, even Jason became a super-human member of the undead beginning in Part 6. But, when it relates to the undead beasties that we all know and love (zombies for those who were questioning) I have actually spoken about this very subject but I am always happy to repeat the important info when needed.

Have you ever noticed that when a zombie is shot in the head, decapitated or otherwise put out of its misery, that blood is present? This can only mean that there is "flow". If not, then the blood would coagulate and the zombie would not be able to do much damage at all.

As long as there is blood flow then "Livor mortis" (also known as Hypostasis) is stopped in its tracks. This means that "Rigor mortis" is unable to set in and the "decomposition" process is stopped.

However, when a zombie is put down, they will decompose quicker than normal because their body temperature is already optimal for it.

Have fun, loosen up and start working on that suspending belief issue because you are going to need it when the zombies start taking over.

Good hunting and aim high,

The Zombie Master