Don’t Go in the Woods Review: Slasher in the Woods, THIS TIME WITH MUSIC!
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Don’t Go in the Woods is yet another story of kids heading out into the woods camping. This time, though, they’re an indie band providing their own soundtrack in Vincent D’Onofrio’s feature directorial debut.
Written by James “Crypticpsych” Lasome
January 7, 2012
Release: January 13, 2012 (US Limited)
Directed by: Vincent D’Onofrio
Written by: Vincent D’Onofrio (story), Sam Bisbee and Joe Vinciguerra (screenplay)
Starring:
Matt Sbeglia as Nick
Nick Thorp as Robbie
Soomin Lee as Johnny
Casey Smith as Anton
Jorgen Jorgensen as Carlo
Nick (Matt Sbeglia) has gotten his band together for a trip out into the middle of nowhere to come up with music for their next album. He doesn’t want distractions, though, so he’s forced them to leave the drugs, alcohol, groupies, and girlfriends at home. Unfortunately for his plans, though, the girls have followed them with drugs and alcohol in tow, derailing their brainstorming session. Still, they’re having fun and getting some songs recorded. However, what they don’t realize is that someone else is wandering around the woods too, willing to kill them all with a sledgehammer.
For a feature film directorial debut, acclaimed actor Vincent D’Onofrio would have been hard-pressed to find a stranger choice than a “slasher musical”. The list of musicals in and around the genre that have worked is a short one with the list of ones that have worked and become popular being even shorter. However, he and his writers definitely deserve some credit for trying to do something different with the “killer kills a bunch of stereotypes in the woods” movie. Many of the characters still feel like they’ve come straight out of any other slasher, of course, but turning the movie into a musical does make the overall product feel a bit fresher than “Slasher in the Woods #3235”. There are also a few character surprises including a great blind character and a foreign girl learning the English language. Also, D’Onofrio more than acquits himself behind the camera and puts together a well-shot movie that points to some talent in the field.
If he does though, then it had better be on a better overall movie than this. The problem with Don’t Go in the Woods (unrelated to the 1981 movie of the same name) is that this movie is actually more of a “musical slasher”, than a “slasher musical”. As such, the slasher elements are kept mostly off-screen until fairly late in the movie. Sure, the characters may run into menacing hunters or a dark figure will be seen in the background, but the movie mostly focuses on the music, not the murder. This might be okay, however, if the music was a different type or style. When a movie is a “musical”, most people think catchy, over-produced musical numbers. Here, though, the “musical” refers to the fact that there are tons of songs played or sung by either the band together, members of the band individually, or even the groupies and girls. The most memorable of these is an early country song playing over the van’s radio and sung by D’Onofrio himself about loving Jesus. Beyond that, though, most of rest of the selections are fairly standard “indie-rock” songs that aren’t particularly memorable and come so close together it’s easy to forget this is supposed to be a “SLASHER musical”.
When the murder and mayhem actually DOES happen, the deaths are kept mostly off-screen. Any gore that is seen usually comes when characters meet up with the aftermath of the attacks or get hit with blood-spray. In addition, the kills come so fast and furious during this period that it feels like the screenwriter suddenly sat up and said “Oh wait, that’s right, this is a slasher movie too!” and promptly wholesale slaughtered three-quarters of the cast in rapid succession. Good slashers pace their kills to build tension. Mediocre ones dump the bodies on the viewer in a pile at the end of the film. It should also be noted that, once the killer’s identity is revealed, this “speed-killing” raises some questions about how they were able to be all those places at once.
The final fatal flaw of Don't Go
In the Woods comes from the character of Nick. Matt Sbeglia’s
performance can’t really be blamed as he’s acting the character that
was written. The problem is that that character is such 
an aggressive workaholic it calls
into question the believability of him having been this band’s lead
singer for any extended period of time. Every other band member’s style
and personality appears to clash with his own to the point it’s easy to
wonder why he hasn’t been replaced. There are ways to create a
character like this, but, as “Nick” is written here, he just comes off
as cartoonish and deeply grating.
Don’t Go in the Woods is a fresh take on the “slasher in the woods” and a well-shot debut for D’Onofrio. Unfortunately, he’s been stuck with a dreadfully-paced script and a “slasher musical” that’s far too much uninspired, bland indie music and not enough slasher. Here’s hoping his next movie gives him more to work with.
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