J Horror Anthology: Underworld (2005)

by Lauratheaxewieldingmaniac
(Philly, PA)

J Horror Anthology: Underworld (2005) DVD Cover Art

***Reader Submitted Review***

Being a fan of Japanese Horror I was excited when this anthology of short films arrived at my doorstep. Unfortunately, I should of known better than to get my hopes up for they were quickly let down.

J Horror Anthology: Underworld reminds me of the American show "Believe It Or Not: Fact Or Fiction" (although I actually enjoyed that show) in that it contains a series of short films, in this case six, which each have a moral or a lesson to learn.

Each "episode" is introduced by the host and then closes with the host repeating the moral of the story. In Underworld the host is a middle-aged, fairly tall Japanese man who sits on a bar stool and speaks very dramatically. He's probably the only aspect of the series that you could at least laugh at.

I remember thinking that none of the so called "morals" made any sense what so ever! And they didn't - especially for the Tattoo episode.

Maybe I'm too much of a traditionalist but I think that to be considered horror, a movie must contain at least one of the following: blood, gore and/or a scene where the audience jumps. From what I remember this DVD didn't have any of that. Okay so it had ghosts but come on now...!

Just dont bother... its not even bad in a funny way.

The six episodes on the DVD are:

• Chain Mail
• Left Behind
• Tattoo
• Viewfinder's Memory
• Guardian Angel
• Mortuary

There's no real point in giving a detailed description of each episode but for those who are thinking of watching this DVD I'll give a brief account of the good and bad of each. I wish someone had done the same for me...then maybe I wouldn't have wasted Netflix's postage!

Chain Mail is about one of those cell phone chain mail messages that I guess are a lot more common over in Japan. A group of girls plays a trick on their friend by sending her a message saying that if she doesn't follow the instruction in the text that some girl will die. It be honest I don't remember it much because it was pretty forgettable. I almost stopped watching right there. This was the worst one and it didn't make much sense.

Left Behind is about a man who meets girls on an internet dating site then brings them up into the woods to make out and when they refuse he leaves them there - Oooh scary! Finally one of the girls get even w/ him. Need I say more?

Tattoo is about - duh - a girl who decided to get a tattoo! She happens across this creepy tattoo shop and get a butterfly tattoo on her chest. Thats about all I understand in the whole episode. The rest involves her seeing into the future (I think) and her tattoo turning into some guy's face. Actually this episode was rather funny looking back. The special effects are so f-in cheesy! The best part is when the tattoo turns into a face and starts laughing. It also involves a killer going after her just because she has a tattoo which is also the moral of the story...That you shouldn't get a tattoo because the wrong kind of people will go after you because you look like a slut! I'm not exaggerating either!

Viewfinder's Memory was okay but in like a cutsey kind of way. It was not scary at all. It was about a group of guys that go to the beach and meet a really hot girl. The one guy hits on her while one of his friend's gets his camcorder. Through the camera lens the girl looks like she's 5 yrs old. As is turns out she's really the ghost of a friend of theres that drowned when they were little. She tries to drown the one guy but fails and then they all play together before going home and living happily ever after.

Guardian Angel. I don't remember much about this one which goes to show just how forgettable it really is. I think it's about a girl who loses everything because she doesn't listen to her grandmother and marries the wrong guy. He steals her money and her business goes under so she tries to kill herself. She fails multiple times and finally realizes that it's her grandmother's spirit stopping her. The story is boring and it's kinda hard to follow. In one scene the girl tries to slit her wrists and I guess the spirit is stopping her hand from moving the knife but instead it just looks like she's too scared to cut herself. The whole thing is just awful!

Finally...

Mortuary. Now if there's anything positive to be said about any of the episodes it's gonna be about this one. This was by far the best one. It's about a medical trainee who assists with a boy who was hit by a car. The boy dies and the trainee takes the boy to the morgue for the family to say their goodbyes. A series of strange and startling events occurs and the trainee runs out of the room. When he returns the mother is there looking at her son. She refuses to believe that he's dead. In the end we find out that she too was in the car when it got hit and also died. It's just another version of the classic scary story. While this episode was definitely very disappointing it was the only story that had a scene that caused me to jump and there was a few parts that were pretty creepy!

Conclusion... don't was your time! It was one of the worse horror movie's I've seen in a while. A disgrace to all J-Horror!

Cheers!
Lauratheaxewieldingmaniac