She Seems Nice

by Kaley
(Melbourne, Australia)

I'm that girl who when parents first meet, turn to their kid and say "She seems nice." I've been told things all my life like "You look safe". Only to then terrify them later on.

It started as a child I guess, my school sort of just turned a blind eye towards bullying issues. I was a victim at first, but quickly picked up how to defend myself, and not in the manner most people would encourage a child to do. I personally do not recall the majority of those years, but according to reports I would have "fits of violence, usually in self defense". Meaning, if someone hit me, I would crack their head open on the wall. But there were a few incidents where, for reasons even unknown to me I would attack another child. After one particular incident with some childhood rivals, some very large rocks and my head, my parents were finally informed on everything that had happened (and not by the teachers).

This is where the horror movies come in. My parents pulled me out of the school and after a few months and a house move, I attended a much smaller school. I finally learned basic social skills and developed healthy relationships (I had friends before, just not very good ones). But I was still, what I call a "reflexive fighter". Something would trigger me, I would react without thinking, then there were tears. The school psychologist concluded there was nothing wrong with me that had a label. After all, despite my violence I was a fairly happy girl that otherwise got along with most of my classmates. She said I had been through a long period of "trauma", and I just had developed my own way of dealing with it. There was nothing she could offer to help, I had to learn how to deal with a situation rationally.

And then I watched my first horror movie. I had already been reading the Goosebumps books and adored Scoobydoo, but a whole new world was opened to me. I learned how to deal with people with time, but I still had a thirst for violence that had to be sated. And so here I am now, I haven't even finished high school yet, but I am nothing else but a horror addict! I've seen all my local DVD store has to offer, and I have already seen many of the films that are listed on this site.

I usually watch a horror movie before bed, school night or not. My definition of a "break" is a few hours in a dark room and a horror movie. Sometimes my parents will mention that it can't be healthy to watch so many. But I am now a very sociable person and have not been in a single fight for over five years, and the only people I've ever argued with are my parents (naturally). Now I'm told by all I meet that I'm the most laid back person they've ever met. I'm just scary because I'm unusually strong for a teenage girl, have what appear to be unbreakable long nails, and would rather talk about someone being disemboweled by Hannibal Lecter than shoes. I think of it as almost therapy, if something happened that rained on my parade, I can always just go home and settle in with lots of blankets, pillows and a good horror movie.

So although my level of love for horror movies is one I share alone in my life, I don't see me favoring The Notebook over Halloween