Horror review of The Tooth Fairy: Helping to save lost life.
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This review of The Tooth Fairy is my small attempt to help people avoid wasting 90 minutes of their lives that they can NEVER get back.
Review by BHM Editor
Don Sumner
2006
Release: 2006
Directed by: Chuck Bowman
Starring:
Carrie Fleming as Star Roberts
Nicole Muñoz as Pamela Wagner
Jianna Ballard as Emma
Jesse Hutch as Bobby Boulet
Peter New as Chuck
Ben Cotton as Henry
I speak for myself as well as every contributor to Best-Horror-Movies.com (as well as, I dare say, for the vast majority of the site visitors) when I say that I absolutely positively LOVE horror movies. This site exists as a way to share that love with people across the globe.
That said it is true that every time I sit down to the computer to write a review, several options flow through my clouded brain. The first is to review the fantastic horror movie that I just saw, so that I can share the joy with the world. Then again, maybe I should write about that really good movie that I watched specifically because it has had a lot of publicity, because visitors to Best-Horror-Movies.com will want to read about it as much as I wanted to see it. Finally, it crosses my mind to write a review about the absolutely terrible atrocity that I just endured so that I can possibly help another human soul avoid losing 90 minutes of their lives (that they can NEVER get back) to bad horror. Although the first two options will be more popular viewing overall, the third may do more for the greater good even if only a few people read it.
Ultimately passion rules, so the film that I feel the most passionate about at the time, one way or the other, will win the publishing prize. This review of The Tooth Fairy is my small attempt to have a positive impact on the greater good.
The story has a pretty good premise. Peter (Lochlyn Munro) used to be a
doctor but wants to be a writer. To facilitate this goal he left the
big city lights and bought a “fixer upper” house in the
country. This change in career path was not acceptable to his
fiancé Darcy (Chandra West) and she dumps him. Well, then
she decides to bring her young daughter Pamela (Nicole Muñoz)
out to the country house for the weekend to try and patch things up. What
nobody realizes is that the “fixer upper” was once occupied
by an evil witch that promised children gifts in exchange for the last
baby tooth to come out of their mouths…and once she got her
hands on the tooth she would violently kill the child. Well, it seems
that her ghost is alive and well in this country charmer, and she is on
a killing spree…
There are a lot of other things going on in The Tooth Fairy. I mean a LOT of things. As a sampling we have:
• A young high school senior helping with yard work (likeably played by the very non-eighteen looking Jesse Hutch),• A friendly ghost named Emma (played well by Jianna Ballard),
• An ex-stripper headed off to veterinary school in two weeks,
• Two crazy rednecks stalking the house (who would have been played very well by Ben Cotton and Peter New if this had been intended to be a campy movie, which it was not),
• A mute and deformed woman named Maude,
• A charming drifter,
• A psychic flower child,
• A crazy neighbor woman who knows a TON about ghosts,
• A graveyard full of spirit children,
• And a monster-woman with an ax and a nail gun.
Mix in with all of this zero chemistry between the lead actors, inappropriate sex while there are known dead bodies strewn about the house, a complete lack of suspense, shockingly irresponsible parenting and two good gore scenes, jumble it all together incoherently and The Tooth Fairy is the result.
With all of that going on and no more than two minutes dedicated to any single subplot one would think that 89 minutes wouldn’t be long enough to get through it all. Think again…watching The Tooth Fairy felt longer than your next door neighbor’s daughter’s dance recital.
Most times you can count on me to review movies that I love and want anyone and everyone to run out and watch just as soon as they possibly can. But not this time. Questions or comments about The Tooth Fairy? Contact us!
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