Timber Falls
has a young couple stalked by killers in the woods with some
new twists, and no sooner are we cringing in horror than we are
laughing at the idiocy of the situation. This is actually the beauty of
the film, and Director Tony Giglio manages to keep us biting our nails
wondering what happens next.
Horror Queen Says: Bloody Thumbs Up!
Written by BHM Contributor Horror
Queen December 8, 2007
Release: December
7, 2007 (U.S.) Directed by: Tony Giglio Written by: Dan Kay
Starring:
Josh Randall as Mike Brianna Brown as Sheryl Nick Searcy as Clyde Beth Broderick as Ida Sascha Rosemann as Deacon
Our story opens with happy and almost annoyingly attractive
couple Mike and Sheryl searching for the perfect hiking trail to spend
their getaway weekend out of the city. After being warned by the local
ranger about the dangers of wandering off the beaten path, they of
course decide to wander off the beaten path.
After escaping a Deliverance type of encounter (no
banjos though, and better dental hygiene) in which three local mountain
men threaten to harm them in sick and perverted ways if they
don’t pay them money, what does the couple do? Of course,
they empty their gun – the only protection they have
– of all its bullets because Sheryl “has seen too
many people hurt” by guns. Hello? Even more curious is that
they run into another ranger right after this incident and do they tell
him about it? Of course not. They make polite conversation, ask
directions, and are on their merry way to spend the night in the woods.
Shockingly,
mayhem returns. Sheryl disappears and Mike nearly loses his life at the
hands of the same locals, and again when he missteps into a bear trap
(hint: don’t walk backwards in the woods). Eventually the
couple meets again in the home of a seemingly good natured middle-aged
God-fearing Christian woman, only to find out they are part of a master
plan to provide the woman and her husband with the one thing they do
not have – a child.
Confused?
It’s pretty simple actually. Kidnap a young couple and, if
they’re not already, force them to get married (sex before
marriage is a sin). Then entice them into having sex with one another
by severely and consistently torturing them (this always gets folks in
the mood). Viola…nine months later you should have a child
to steal for your very own. If something goes awry don’t
worry - you can keep the preserved fetuses in jars in the basement as
memorials to failed attempts. Don’t worry about the missing
persons investigations – they’ll never find you in
the only house in an area where half the population is rangers.
Timber Falls brings to horror films a
new kind of blatantly dumb victim. It used to be young couples in the
woods showed their ignorance by wandering off alone or attempting to
overcome their assailant without making 100% sure they were dead.
Don’t get me wrong, Mike and Sheryl do both these things. But
they also constantly enrage their weapon-wielding captors by doing the
very thing that sets them off the most – cussing.
“Don’t take the Lord’s name in vain
again,” is the direction, as the brother raises his
double-bladed sickle. Yet the couple can’t help themselves.
Maybe it’s Turrets Syndrome, I don’t know.
One of the most memorable scenes in Timber Falls is
when our childless religious fanatics stage a wedding so Mike and
Sheryl can marry before procreating. Marriage has been a bone of
contention with the couple so this is in fact the ultimate
“shotgun wedding.”
All in all Timber Falls is an entertaining film
that manages to endear itself to horror and comedy fans alike.
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Timber Falls brings to horror films a
new kind of blatantly dumb victim. It used to be young couples in the
woods showed their ignorance by wandering off alone or attempting to
overcome their assailant without making 100% sure they were dead.
Don’t get me wrong, Mike and Sheryl do both these things. But
they also constantly enrage their weapon-wielding captors by doing the
very thing that sets them off the most – cussing.
“Don’t take the Lord’s name in vain
again,” is the direction, as the brother raises his
double-bladed sickle. Yet the couple can’t help themselves.
Maybe it’s Turrets Syndrome, I don’t know.
