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Timber Falls has a young couple stalked by killers in the woods with some new twists, and no sooner are we cringing in horror than we are laughing at the idiocy of the situation. This is actually the beauty of the film, and Director Tony Giglio manages to keep us biting our nails wondering what happens next. Horror Queen Says: Bloody Thumbs Up!
Starring:
After escaping a Deliverance type of encounter (no banjos though, and better dental hygiene) in which three local mountain men threaten to harm them in sick and perverted ways if they don’t pay them money, what does the couple do? Of course, they empty their gun – the only protection they have – of all its bullets because Sheryl “has seen too many people hurt” by guns. Hello? Even more curious is that they run into another ranger right after this incident and do they tell him about it? Of course not. They make polite conversation, ask directions, and are on their merry way to spend the night in the woods.
Shockingly, mayhem returns. Sheryl disappears and Mike nearly loses his life at the hands of the same locals, and again when he missteps into a bear trap (hint: don’t walk backwards in the woods). Eventually the couple meets again in the home of a seemingly good natured middle-aged God-fearing Christian woman, only to find out they are part of a master plan to provide the woman and her husband with the one thing they do not have – a child.
Confused? It’s pretty simple actually. Kidnap a young couple and, if they’re not already, force them to get married (sex before marriage is a sin). Then entice them into having sex with one another by severely and consistently torturing them (this always gets folks in the mood). Viola…nine months later you should have a child to steal for your very own. If something goes awry don’t worry - you can keep the preserved fetuses in jars in the basement as memorials to failed attempts. Don’t worry about the missing persons investigations – they’ll never find you in the only house in an area where half the population is rangers.
One of the most memorable scenes in Timber Falls is when our childless religious fanatics stage a wedding so Mike and Sheryl can marry before procreating. Marriage has been a bone of contention with the couple so this is in fact the ultimate “shotgun wedding.” All in all Timber Falls is an entertaining film that manages to endear itself to horror and comedy fans alike. Horror Queen Says: Bloody Thumbs Up! Questions or comments about Timber Falls? Contact us! Take me to Horror Movie Reviews! 
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Timber Falls brings to horror films a
new kind of blatantly dumb victim. It used to be young couples in the
woods showed their ignorance by wandering off alone or attempting to
overcome their assailant without making 100% sure they were dead.
Don’t get me wrong, Mike and Sheryl do both these things. But
they also constantly enrage their weapon-wielding captors by doing the
very thing that sets them off the most – cussing.
“Don’t take the Lord’s name in vain
again,” is the direction, as the brother raises his
double-bladed sickle. Yet the couple can’t help themselves.
Maybe it’s Turrets Syndrome, I don’t know.
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