Unholy Had Some Great Advertising and Promotion
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Unfortunately Unholy Really REALLY sucks.
Written by BHM Contributor Dr. Chills
October 10, 2007
Release: 2007
Directed by: Daryl Goldberg
Written by: Daryl Goldberg and Sam Freeman
Staring:
Adrienne Barbeau as Martha
Nichols Brendon as Lucas
Siri Baruc as Hope
When I saw the ad banner for Unholy, (Directed by Daryl Goldberg) on BHM’s website I was instantly intrigued with the bi-line. “This is the movie they don’t want you to see” My interest was piqued. Upon seeing the trailer and reading the synopsis, I was psyched. I couldn’t wait to see Unholy. In fact, not only was I excited, I was actually a little scared. I was scared in anticipation of a spellbinding and mind-bending horror rumpus involving secret government experiments, Nazi’s, witches and time travel, invisibility and mind control; the unholy trinity. I invited a few friends over to share in the anticipated scare… We popped the DVD into the player and were ready to be scared out of our wits…
What became clear within minutes of viewing the movie was that it was absolutely, unequivocally, totally, completely and undeniably a pile of horse crap. I even found myself yelling out in the middle of the movie “I can’t believe how bad this sucks!”
But I’m getting ahead of myself. Unholy begins with our heroine Martha (Adrienne Barbeau) buying sunflowers because her daughter Hope (Siri Baruc) is celebrating a birthday. There is a very creepy guy at the convenience store whose appearance and demeanor alone should have sent Martha packing her bags and hightailing it out of town, birthday or no birthday, but no. There would be no such fleeing activity for Martha.
It was right around this time that my guests and I began to notice the awful sound quality in the movie. We adjusted the volume, messed with the levels on the TV, but to no avail. Nothing could remedy the poor sound emanating from the TV. So here we have Adrienne Barbeau, Creepy farmer’s market guy and the ever present Crinkle, Crunckle Crackle of background noises that really should not have been making any sound at all.
Martha leaves the farmers market and arrives home to find her daughter Hope about to blow her
brain out with a shot gun. This early scene set the tone for the strangeness that would end up
dominating the entire film. Instead of calling the suicide hotline, Martha proceeds to tell her
daughter that she hates her, then plays a ghastly piece on the piano that would have made anyone
blow their brains out. Hope did finally succeed in her dastardly act, but not before warning her
mother to beware of the experiment. What Hope should have said instead was “beware of low
budget independent films with bad sound, mom.”
The plot continues to unfold with Hope’s brother Lucas (Nicholas Brendon) joining his mother in an adventure through (what looks like) 1980’s rural Pennsylvania in search of clues and answers as to why Hope killed herself. Clothed in puffy 1980’s down jackets, the pair engages on a journey of Nazism, murder, more suicide, intrigue, violence and suspense. And even with all of that action, the movie was still really lousy.
Unholy is silly and it lacks cohesion and believability. There was however, one redeeming part to the film. Unfortunately, I can’t tell you what it is because to do so would ruin the only possible reason one could have for seeing the movie. Suffice it to say, this one cool and clever part almost makes the painful viewing experience worth the while. Almost! Questions or comments about Unholy? Contact us!
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